Category Archives: Uncategorized

Being The Son Of A Porn Star

So, everyone knows Octomom, right?  The lady that decided that having a litter of children is perfectly natural and had 8 children via assisted reproductive technology?  I’ve stated before that I never want to have children.  Ever.  I just don’t see it in my future and I have zero desire to have children.  And, being queer, I doubt that I’m going to be accidentally pregnant any time soon.  So, thinking that popping out 8 children at once is mind boggling to me, and from what I gather, most of America/the world as well.

However, her being Octomom isn’t what I’m discussing.  What I’d like to talk about is her deciding that doing a fetish video would be a great idea.  I’m guessing she’s doing this because, yo, having 8 children isn’t cheap.  So I’m sure it’s a quick and easy way to make yourself some money.

I have no ethical problems with porn.  This is obvious, as I spend most of my computer time with my pants around my ankles.  As long as it’s between two (or more, my favorite…) consenting adults, I couldn’t care less and I will probably enjoy.

The question I’m posing though, is how could you, as a mother, do a fetish video, spanking and generally beating the shit out of this dude wearing a diaper and bonnet.  Pre-kids, sure, you don’t have kids to think about and you need some cash, you’re hot, no one will probably ever see the video and link you to it, whatever.  But to do it, as a mother, and a famous mother to boot?  Wow.

I couldn’t imagine being one of her children.  Being on the playground in elementary school, being taunted by my fellow peers “Your mom’s a whore” and “Did your mom spank you like that when you were little?”  Could you imagine the degradation and humiliation?  I couldn’t even fathom that type of treatment.  I was taunted a lot in school for being a queer and a fag.  But for them to talk about my mom, and for it to be TRUE?  Unthinkable.

I’m generally not one for judging parents because, well, I know it’s a rough gig and I’m not one.  But I’m pretty sure I can confidentially say that THAT is some Grade A shitty parenting.  Fail, Octomom, fail.


Reposting Facebook Fuckheads

My last post has been about a month ago.  I know.  I’ve had a few comments on it.  But this blog was never meant to be updated on a daily or even a weekly basis.  It’s a place where I can collect my thoughts on subjects that is too long to tweet about.  Subjects that get me so fucking pissed off it sends me into a tailspin and makes me want to kick puppies and throw babies into boiling stew.  You know, to make me feel better.

My last post was bitching about the stupid people on Facebook.  I spoke at great lengths at my horror that people that I know in real life are just.  fucking.  stupid.  They believe that, in reposting a prayer or super.  witty.  saying.  will inspire someone or, better yet, will cause change.

I’m happy to inform everyone that today, I have been inspired.  I’ve seen a reposted facebook status that has caused me to pick up the literary pen and lash out my frustrations on the inept.

Wonderful and very powerful message….Boy writes God a letter, “Dear God, why do you let bad things happen in our schools?” God replies, “Dear son, I’m not allowed in your schools.” repost if you agree.

I read this status, blinked, and then reread it, as my mind couldn’t even comprehend the stupidity that originally wrote it.  I was also in shock that they didn’t put at the end “99% of you will be too afraid to repost this!  1% of you will be given a unicorn and a free wish if you repost!  Pinky swear!”

Are you ACTUALLY stating that, because prayer isn’t allowed in public schools, God has abandoned his followers there?  Or are you just simply stating that us mere mortals have that power where we can forbid an omnipresent being from existing in an articially created, bricked structure?

Oh, I get what they’re saying.  And it baffles me how anyone can even think of such a thing.  I mean, why blame the obvious?  Why point your finger at the poor parenting of today’s society when you have the non-Christians to blame?  Why blame the cyber bullying that, no only humiliates the child, humiliates them on a global scale while you can, instead, cry persecution.

Let me tell you, you reposting facebook fuckheads, you have no idea what persecution is.  You don’t know what it’s like to be Middle Eastern and try to board a plane.  Have everyone stare at you, whispering, wondering if you are going to be the one to take down the plane and end their miserable existence.

We have homosexuals in some Middle Eastern countries where, when found out, they are executed, all in the name of faith.  We have states in our very own country, the Land of the Free, where homosexuals aren’t allowed to marry due to your God’s will.  Your God was responsible for countless holy wars and has shed untold blood.

Please forgive me when I tell you that you can keep your God out of our schools. Your hypocritical notions anger me beyond comprehension.  You want to have prayer and God in school.  But only YOUR God.  If I were Muslim or Buddhist or Hindu and I tried to bring MY god(s) into school, there will be no tolerance for such behavior.  We believe in religious tolerance, as long as it’s Christianity!

And that, right there, is the point of why your god can’t be in schools and why it has to be seperate.  Our country is made up of many faiths and beliefs.  And, while a lot of religions can coexist with others, yours can’t.

And that is the saddest thing of all.

So, keep reposting those Facebook statuses, morons.  It’ll change the world.  I promise.

Why Am I Fucking Apologizing?

I’m really starting to hate Facebook.  There, I’ve said it.  I fucking hate you, Facebook.  I was perfectly happy not knowing the full reaches of my real life associate’s stupidity.  I didn’t need to know that they think it’s SUPER. DUPER. IMPORTANT. to copy and paste generic prayers to Jesus on their Facebook status, urging others to do the same.  We all know that Jesus reads our Facebook statuses.  And it’s always SUPER.  DUPER.  IMPORTANT.  that everyone else knows that you’re copy and pasting a generic prayer that you don’t have the capacity to write yourself, as you’re too busy trying to bite your own face.

I hate seeing your fucking games on Facebook.  I don’t want to see you posting about how you joined this game, how you’ve gained a level, and I definitely don’t want to see how you need JUST A FEW MORE NAILS to complete your barn on Farmville.  Truly, this is what the Bible spoke about when giving details of the end times.  Farmville is the Anti-Christ, bitches!

But you know what really sets me off?  I mean, really sends me into a mouth-frothing frenzy?  I posted a link on Facebook for people to either call or send a form letter to their senator, urging them to repeal Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.  I figure I’m in the middle of Ohio, it’s the least I can do.

And you know what?  I actually had someone post below the link, stating that they thought that DADT was good for now for the “safety of the gays.”  Or, he felt that they could repeal DADT if they would make segregated gay units within the military like what they used to do with black people.  Because, you know, us gays need protection.

So, I sat there and was responding back to the person, telling him, in a nut shell, what he’s trying to sell is complete and utter nonsense.  No other military that has allowed openly gay and lesbians serve in the military has really had any issues to note of and that the survey showed that no one gave two shits if their peers were gay.

But most disturbingly, I found myself apologizing throughout the thing, telling him I was sorry to disagree, but….

You know what, I’m done apologizing for your stupidity.  If I want to serve in the military and be open about my sexuality, then WHO ARE YOU to demand that I keep my mouth shut?  For my safety?  If I want to risk being out and serve my country, WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE to tell me otherwise?  Are you SERIOUSLY suggesting that we turn back the clock and segregate the military?  What the fuck does this look like?  The 1950’s?  Every minority faces the plight of being the brunt of the “Straight, White Man” and his bullying.  We deal with it every day, why THE FUCK does it make sense to bow to their hatred in a military situation?

You have the same mentality as Senator John fucking McCain.  You have this very thorough report, showing there will be none to minimal impact on the operations of the military to allow gays to serve openly in the military.  It’s just that you just don’t fucking care.  You’re so wrapped up in your grand delusions of segregation, fear mongering, and Farmville that you just don’t.  fucking.  care.

I’m done dealing with your crazy ass shit.  I’m done with fucking apologizing to you.  And I’m done with your generic lip-service prayers.  You, dear sir, need more help then I can ever, ever give you.

Dell Has Reaffirmed My Faith In Them

I’m taking a pause from my blogging norms today to discuss something that has reestablished my faith in customer service today.  If you would have asked me earlier today, I would tell you horrid tales of customer service, how no one seems to care anymore about my problems or when I feel I was wronged, and frustration with the language barrier you deal with a lot when the tech support doesn’t natively speak English.

Earlier today I was on Twitter at work and I noticed, on several occasions, I heard knocking like my hard drive was going out.  I instantly complain on Twitter because that’s what Twitter is for.  I mention that my hard drive is going out but I was horrified at trying to call Dell because of the language barrier and it always took so damned long to get anything done.  Within 5 minutes I get a @mention from a dell representative, stating he was sorry to hear about the hard drive, and I should friend/Direct Message him with my serial number and my contact info.  So, surprised, I did so, and I was instantly called by Dell.

Let me reitterate that for everyone so that you can absorb that last part.  Dell.  Called.  Me.  Instantly.

I was literally on the phone with him for a minute.  He confirmed my shipping address, made sure it wasn’t a CD in my drive, then told me my hard drive will be there in 2-3 days and asked me to ship the old hard drive back when I was done.  He then just told me to have a good day and I would be getting a confirmation email in a few minutes.

Do you hear me world!?  Dell is using social media HOW a company should be using it!  They are using it to not only push information out to its customer base but also searching with it to identify problems and fix them quickly.  That, right there, is how you create a loyal fan base.  And you know what, as soon as it was resolved, I went to Twitter and I screamed for like 5 minutes on how awesome it was.  And I went to Facebook and made a large post about how awesome Dell was.

You Dell, are incredibly awesome.  You decided to harness the monumental power of social media and, instead of abusing it or just slamming people with deals that we aren’t interested in.  You, Dell, used it to help me when I wasn’t even asking for it.  And that, Dell, makes me feel special and important.  You, Dell, understand what good exceptional customer service is and you should be commended!

**Update:  They even overnighted my hard drive to me!!! ❤ you Dell!!**

Operation: Tranny Freedom

Saturday night.

When you think of a weekend night, you think of going out to the movies, the bars, spending a late night with your significant other, or having yourself a wine party while your children were sleeping, praising any deity that you survived another day.

Today started like any other Saturday.  Hit the gym, got my pancakes, nearly went emo at Walmart, then got home and got into my pjs for the rest of the day.  A normal Saturday for me.  I just made myself some popcorn and sat down with Mike to watch a movie we just rented on On Demand.  It was going to be a peaceful, nice night.

And then I got a direct message on Twitter from a friend of mine and I got to witness something I never in a 1,000 years would have dreamed I would see.

A transsexual (I will not list their twitter name) was planning on removing their testicals, sans doctors.  Did I mention she was doing over a live video stream?  my friend thought I knew her (which I didn’t), because she was desperately trying to find someone that knew her, as she stopped responding on twitter for about 30 minutes and she feared the worst.

Naturally, I first thought she lost her damned mind and was delusional.  Then it sunk in that my evening wouldn’t be normal.  However I didn’t realize I would be watching a snuff film.  This realization comes later.

So, I try to report her on twitter so that Twitter can call the ambulance to her location, my friend tries, both of us apparently fail at submitting tickets on Twitter.  So my friend goes out on the internet and uses her stalking skills and finds the live video of this self-done operation.

And we both watch it.

It’s showing a far-back side view of her, so there’s nothing close up (thank god, I can’t watch self-mutilation, especially of a guys’ junk area) but….still.  We’re both terrified of her bleeding out from her self-surgery.

This is what she calls “Operation:  Tranny Freedom.”  This is to free her from being trapped in her male body.  Her point is that the surgery is considered cosmetic and you have to see a therapist for 2 years before even getting consent for the surgery.  So she opted to do it herself.

I’m not going to talk about the surgery.  I do not endorses mutilation and I won’t discuss it, at least at length.  However, I wanted to bring this up so that this next part makes a lick of sense.

She was on the phone during most of the surgery with friends and they were all very supportive of her.  My friend and I were screaming at each other in private chat, horrified that “friends” would be ok with this.  That, if they were even remotely friends, they should be calling the police to have her hauled away and committed.  Hell, I would do this to a total stranger if I knew their address.

And then she got a phone call from her sister.  Finally I thought, she would have some sense talked into her.  And I was then horrified beyond reason.

Her sister was saying she was proud of her.  That she wished she had her courage.  She was on the other line of the phone while her sister was cutting off her fucking nuts and she had her fucking pom-poms out.

Let me reiterate that.  Her friends and sister are cheering her on while she’s mutilating herself.

I want to be very clear on this point.  I don’t fully understand transsexuals, I’ll be honest.  I’ve never felt the desire that I’m trapped in the wrong sex’s body.  However, just because I don’t fully understand it doesn’t mean I think it’s wrong, by any stretch of the imagination.  I believe such a condition exists and I support them to make the choice to get the surgery.

However, operating on yourself is madness.  I don’t care if you’re cutting off your nuts, breast implants, or doing gallbladder surgery.  You just.  don’t.  do.  it.  She made a comment in the group chat about how the surgery costs $5000 and have to have counseling for 2 years so she’s just whacking it off herself.  And just listening to her talk on the phone with her sister and friends, her voice was so calm, like she was discussing the weather or how the stock market dropped 2 points that day.

And no one helped her.  She was reaching out, obviously looking for help, and people just got out their pom-poms and did what every “good friend” should do and be supportive.

Sorry, but you people suck.  You stand by and watch this person you obviously care about and cheer her on while she operates on herself.  SHE IS MUTILATING HERSELF AND YOU ALL ARE CLAPPING AND CHEERING HER ON!  She has mental problems and you are sitting there.  We’ve been trying to get her to call 911 or to give us her address or any type of identifiable information and she won’t do it.  AND YOU PEOPLE ARE CHEERING HER ON!

So, instead, this post is to beg you all.  If you ever, ever hear of anyone (friend, family, even stranger) that is looking to harm themselves or do something that is border lining on insanity, help them.  They may not like you by making that call, but I’d rather someone hate me for the rest of their life then to potentially having their blood on my hand because it wasn’t my business to intervene in their life.

So how did the surgery end?  Well, as far as we know, it didn’t.  In the middle of the butchering, she decided she was too tired, so she decided to go to sleep…while only half way done, mind you.  I’m guessing she went into shock or loss of blood.

11 hours she spent butchering herself and her friends were cheering her on.  If anything happened to her, I really, really hope that her friends can live with themselves.  I’ll be checking my Twitter feed and will let people know if I find out she’s ok.  Because you all know that’s probably what all I’ll be doing today, is looking for her on Twitter to see if she’s ok.

****Update:  My friend is talking to her on twitter in private.  The surgery still isn’t complate, but she’s conscious and OK*****

****Update 11:34AM my time:  She’s still talking on twitter, but people are now urging her to go to the ER, afraid for her health.*****

Why We Hide And Why It’s Not OK

I was bouncing around on Twitter like I normally do at this time of night and I noticed a tweet from @NOH8Campaign in regards to a school official wanting gays dead.  This of course caught my attention.  Below is the link if you didn’t catch it.

In a nutshell a school board member posted on his facebook page about encouraging gays to kill themselves and “I like that fags cant procreate. I also enjoy the fact that they often give each other aids and die.”

I want you to think about that for a minute.

Someone ENJOYS the fact that gays often give each other AIDS and die.  Someone that is in charge of YOUR children’s education.  He also encourages that us gays hide if we do not want to be called “fags.”

But what most frightened me about this article was that there were so many people that “liked” his comment on facebook before someone had the balls to challenge what he said.  Every day a little piece of my faith in humanity is destroyed and today is no different.  You would hope that, in today’s world, that if someone spouts of hate like this, especially in light of the suicide of gay teens, people will stand up to this.  That people would be educated enough to think that, while maybe they don’t approve of gays and their “ways,” they don’t want any ill harm to come of them.

And he had 6 people (that we know of) that liked his comment.

And there’s more like him.  There’s more like him that want to harm us because they don’t understand us.  They want to physically beat us, rape us, humiliate us, torture us, HATE us.  Some of us hide, and we hide for good reason.  We hide because we fear for our personal safety and public scorn from our family and friends.  We hide who and what we are, live a life of misery, because we want to be accepted.

And that’s not OK.  Being out in the open forces those to look at us and understand that we are not monsters.  We are living, breathing beings that require respect and equal rights.   There is no need to look upon us as devilish deviants that want nothing more then to rape children, destroy your families, and defile your faith with our loose morals.  We need to stand up to these people, heads held high, and show them that we are not afraid.

We do not fear you, Clint McCance.  We will not give you that power over us.  We are proud queers and we are not ashamed of who and what we are.  You can wish us ill will, you can enjoy the thoughts of us dieing from a devastating disease, you can even laugh about it.  But we will never hide from people like you, we don’t bow down to hate mongers.

We only wish you well, Clint McCance.  May you find peace with whatever inner turmoil you are fighting.  May whatever god you believe in have mercy on your poor, twisted soul.


Teh Gays

I Don’t Believe In Monogamy But I Practice It

On Twitter I was crying because I’ve been a chaste nun the past week due to Mike being gone since Sunday for work.  I got several chuckles out of it and so it inspired me to write on my viewpoints on sex and relationships.

I’ll be perfectly honest.  I find monogamy to be very unnatural.  I’m not sure if it’s “a guy thing” or if it’s “a whore thing,” but it’s a thing all the same.  I’ve always been able to separate “making love” and “having wild out-of-control sex” and never got the big deal of staying faithful to one person.

Now, let me be very clear at this point.  I don’t condone cheating on your partner behind their back.  If you take a vow of monogamy with them, you need to respect it or leave them.   You can’t have a loving relationship if you need to constantly lie to your partner.  So put it back in your pants or man/woman up.

Anyways, monogamy.

I’m not sure what it is.  Some people blame it on genetics, some blame it on men being pigs, and either could be true, I’m not qualified to debate such things.  However most men just tend to think with their penis, plain and simple.   We see something sexually attractive and we want to bend it over and have our way with it.  Granted, some women think with their penises and some men don’t have this drive, but we’re talking generalizations right now.  Men are sexual beings that can’t seem to keep it in their pants.

I started practicing monogamy shortly after meeting Mike.  It had nothing to do with being “reformed” or “him being the one and only.”  It had to do with the fact that my sexual drive could have killed him.

We (and by we, I mean that I convinced Mike) decided to “have relations” with another guy while we were traveling.  I won’t go into the details, as this isn’t a smut novel, but the guy convinced us to not use a condom.  Side note, if I ever, ever hear of anyone of you guys not using one while with someone you don’t know, I’ll personally drive over there and kick your ass.

Soon afterwards Mike got pretty sick.  Again, I won’t go into the details as it’s not really relevant to the story.  Mike’s doctor told him, prior to running tests, that he was sure that Mike was HIV+.  So, as Mike was waiting for the test results back, Mike thought he was dieing.  And I was the one with the smoking gun.

Why do I practice monogamy even when I don’t necessarily believe in it?  Because I thought I killed the man I loved to fulfill that “itch.”  It’s funny, looking back on it now, that I wasn’t thinking of myself at that time.  I could have very well been infected along with him.  I just remember standing next to our bed with Mike laying on the bed, telling me all this.  The realization of the possibility of me murdering my partner slowly sinking into my brain.  The unadulterated horror when it came to me that “I killed him.”  I might as well of taken a gun, put it to his head, and shot him.  It would have been more humane I believe.

It was a very, very strained time in our relationship.  The tests came back negative, everything was OK, at least physically.  Psychologically it took Mike several months to heal, and all of this was due to my reckless behavior.  I nearly killed him and it was all my fault.

So, yes, I packed my whorish ways aside in the name of my sanity and his wellbeing.  I do not regret my decision though.  I’m willing to give up that part of me to stay in Mike’s life.  I want him to live a full, healthy, and happy life and hopefully he continues to allow me to be with him for many more years to come.